January 10, 2010

Do what you love.

Ever since I've been back I have been trying to figure out "what's next." I got so tired of asking God that I finally just gave up trying to figure it out. I didn't stop moving forward, just stopped trying to plan out/organize my next big endeavor. I wasn't being ok with where I was at and wearing myself out trying to make my life seem more exciting than what it sounds like. To most people my life probably sounds typical and sort of mundane if I tried explaining to them what a week looked like.

But God has been working on my heart this whole time. If my life were any different, these dark spots wouldn't be brought up and I wouldn't have to deal with them. It's causing me to be stronger in areas I didn't know needed work. I love/hate how God teaches me lessons in the most unpredictable ways.

A knew passion has been ignited in my heart recently. I never knew how much I LOVE playing worship music. I love working in the Student Union. Hands down the most encouraging environment I have ever been in. Everyone has been so supportive of me playing and have challenged me in some areas as well. Every weekend I look forward to getting back on stage and worshiping with a gift I didn't really think I had. I'm slowly beginning to gain more and more courage up on stage which makes me less distracted so I can actually worship. I focus less on what I'm playing and more on singing to my Father. Playing my guitar becomes more natural and I already can hear a difference.

This weekend has been the best weekend yet since Australia. The best part is, it wasn't because of a party or friends (all great things)... it was simply being able to serve God and use a gift He has given me. It's been a long time since I feel like I have served God... rather than asking Him to serve me.

Next weekend is going to crazy!! I am so so so so excited to play for the adults over the in the main service (celebration, sorry dad). It's somewhat nerve racking but a good kind of rush! I don't think I have ever played in front of this many people and Dustin is having me lead a song. You better believe I'm gonna be practicing in my sleep! That way when I get on stage, I can tune out all my fears and insecurities and fully be engaged with Jesus while playing on a KILLER sound system. :) can't go wrong there.

I am so thankful God brought me back to a place I never thought I'd be, while doing something I never thought I'd do.


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