But God has been working on my heart this whole time. If my life were any different, these dark spots wouldn't be brought up and I wouldn't have to deal with them. It's causing me to be stronger in areas I didn't know needed work. I love/hate how God teaches me lessons in the most unpredictable ways.
A knew passion has been ignited in my heart recently. I never knew how much I LOVE playing worship music. I love working in the Student Union. Hands down the most encouraging environment I have ever been in. Everyone has been so supportive of me playing and have challenged me in some areas as well. Every weekend I look forward to getting back on stage and worshiping with a gift I didn't really think I had. I'm slowly beginning to gain more and more courage up on stage which makes me less distracted so I can actually worship. I focus less on what I'm playing and more on singing to my Father. Playing my guitar becomes more natural and I already can hear a difference.
This weekend has been the best weekend yet since Australia. The best part is, it wasn't because of a party or friends (all great things)... it was simply being able to serve God and use a gift He has given me. It's been a long time since I feel like I have served God... rather than asking Him to serve me.
Next weekend is going to crazy!! I am so so so so excited to play for the adults over the in the main service (celebration, sorry dad). It's somewhat nerve racking but a good kind of rush! I don't think I have ever played in front of this many people and Dustin is having me lead a song. You better believe I'm gonna be practicing in my sleep! That way when I get on stage, I can tune out all my fears and insecurities and fully be engaged with Jesus while playing on a KILLER sound system. :) can't go wrong there.
I am so thankful God brought me back to a place I never thought I'd be, while doing something I never thought I'd do.