April 27, 2009

Not a picture, finally.

This weekend was ridiculous. I kind of needed it honestly, I've been needing to keep myself busy. Friday I actually went to bed at a decent hour but only because I knew Saturday was going to be a long day. First, I drove to my parents house to meet up with Rachel and the other bridesmaids. A limo picked us up fully loaded with champagne and a cute driver ;). We went to a cute little tea place and had tea and lots of sugary treats. I started to feel nauseous from all the sugar and champagne is not a good breakfast drink haha.

I realized how happy I am I'm not super wealthy because honestly, I can't handle it. I'm extremely clumsy and awkward when it comes to being around super nice things. The tea party was very "cute" but I would never want something like that for my showers. I even fell out of the limo...

After that we went to Dana's house in Indian Hill and she did such an amazing job decorating. She obviously is good with small details. We played a few lingerie party games and drank even more champagne. By the end of all that, I was exhausted. I can only handle being around a lot of people in a small space for so long. I love being around people, don't get me wrong. I just can't handle it when everyone is trying to be polite and proper. My face starts to hurt from smiling and I am definitely no good with small talk.

I was happy when the limo picked us up and took us back to my parents house. That was my chance to re-energize my social skills. We then took Rachel out to eat and then to mt. adams. That's where we finally had some real fun. I felt like I could relax for the first time haha. That went till really late and we finally drove back home. By the time we got home I felt like my eyes had shards of glass in them they itched so bad. There was no way I was going to be able to sleep there because my parents had all the windows open instead turning the air conditioning on. So I drove home.

Sunday was filled with church, Jen's bridal shower, and back home to say goodbye to Rachel and the other girls. I went home after all that for a minute then Briana had asked me to go to her small group, so I went to that and met some fun people. Finally went back home and relaxed.

It's been a really long weekend.

I don't know why I blogged about it. Just felt like it I guess.

I wonder if my application has reached Australia yet? Probably not. I realized that I MUST do this YWAM thing. I have zero things holding me back. Not that I was going to let anything hold me back... There were a few things I probably would have missed but now really the only things I will miss are my few amazing girl friends and my family. But those things will never change and will always be here for me whenever I get back.

Last night the Notebook was on tv. Bad idea. I watched it and cried my eyes out, just like everytime I watch it. At first I started thinking, ah man, I really want to find someone who I can love in that way and he will love me just the same back. But then I started praying and I realized I still don't understand that God loves me just like that. I act like the old lady who doesn't recognize the man she fell madly in love with. I don't recognize God's character and love for me. Then after He has read to me all day and is desperately pursueing my heart, for a moment it clicks and I see my love and my maker. Those are the moments I see for a minute then just as quickly I forget who He is. I want to fully know in my heart that kind of love He has for me. Because I honestly don't think after 21 years I get it.

I need to get out of Cincy again.


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