We have a funny God who is seriously unpredictable! I feel like I just relived a modern story of Abraham and Isaac. Here is the short version of everything...
After I got the email saying I wasn't accepted into the DTS because it was full, I went into a slight depression. I'm not a depressing person and this was really starting to wear me down. It took God to strip everything away from me in order to make sure my heart was still in the right place. Throughout the past month I've felt God ask me some seriously intense questions. Even if I have nothing, no plans or future planned out... will I still follow Him? I finally learned what it means to actively pursue God daily. There was a point where if I didn't have worship music on or wasn't meditating on God I slowly started getting depressed again.
I became really good friends with those girls I just talked about in the last post. Without them I wouldn't have been as encouraged in all of this crap. They helped me realize that God was doing something huge and I should be encouraged and I was! Even if I was in a sucky mood... I some how had a strange feeling of peace.
To sum all that up... I broke down and told God, "ok... if you seriously want me here in Cincy... then fine. Just tell me what to do here cause you know I don't want to be here without a reason!"
God somehow got me to realize a life without Him FULLY in it... just makes no sense.
Wellllllll then I got an email from YWAM Waves yesterday and it said in big formal letters, "CONGRATS! You've been accepted!!"
I almost peed my pants in the little coffee shop on madison. Ultimately confused... I just stared at the email. I called my dad and we both just laughed so hard.
God is seriously soooo freakin good. It's like He just wanted to make sure I really wanted to pursue Him. I don't deserve any of this, I don't know why God is being so good to me. But He knows the desires of my heart and obviously wants me to fullfill them! I don't doubt for a second about Australia now... granted I have to raise a buttload of money between now and July 6th. Gos is way bigger than money as well though, and I get that.
I'm constantly blown away.
So here is my schedule now:
May 22nd-24th - Jen's Wedding (i'm in) May 29th-31st - Rach's Wedding in Chattanooga June 3rd-18th - Switzerland, Germany and Ireland with my parents July 6th- December ? - Australia for YWAM