This is cute and catchy.

For those who don't know what's going on in my life, here is a quick update:

1) Young adults ministry going through some major changes

• We are in desperate need of young adults who have a passion for this ministry. Who want to exercise their talents and gifts while building community with others.
• I recently just became the worship coordinator for the group which means I would love to meet you if you know how to lead because we need more worship leaders.
• I love how God has put this passion in my heart. I didn't know this was what I really had a heart for... I would love to see the young adults in this city be able to come together and learn to live life and love God fully.
  

2) Taking on more responsibilities when it comes to the leading the high school worship

• Dustin is teaching me all about stage set up and sound.
• Soon he is going to teach me about how to play around with loops
• My guitar playing is being stretched and my finger tips hate me
• Learning how to really lead a band and know how to instruct each instrument has been quite the challenge.
  
• How to really worship while being on stage and having multiple distractions
• Wanting to see more of a "family" aspect with the band members... I seriously love them.
• Showing the students how powerful prayer is and why it's important to pray for others.
• Opening up to the girls and letting them get to know me and all my weirdness.
  

3) Leadership Training Course for the next 9 months

• A lot of great books to read
• How to be a great leader and train others to be leaders.
  

4) Trying to find a job to work around all those things, because in my head they are top priority.

5) I was hesitant to put this up here but eh, why not... James.

• It's not hard to find time to hang out with him since he works at the Vineyard
• Over the past 4 months he has become my best friend
• He somehow can listen to my crazy rants and help sort out my scattered thoughts
• He has a passion for the young adults community as well. So we push each other in that area.
• His smile aint to shabby either.
• He is showing me a lot more than what a good boyfriend looks like... with the help of God of course.
• He makes me laugh the hardest and doesn't get offended easily... thank God.
  
• And he wont let me freak out and run away... which happened a lot before.

So pretty much these are the vague things I spoke of earlier. For a while I was having a hard time seeing what God was doing in my life. That caused me to doubt to the point where I just didn't know what to really think anymore. But what would faith be if it was easy? God is continuously showing me what it looks like to live for him day to day. Instead of some big grand adventure that people love hearing about, it's the small things I am listening for. Writing all this out helps me see how much God is pushing me and slowly shifting my life in a new direction. God has put all of this together... I can't take any credit. I never thought I would be doing any of this... on top of that, I never thought I would be with a guy like James haha. Just shows God's sense of humor.

To most people on paper, I look like I don't have anything going for me. I have no college degree or job right now. But I know that God has something up His sleeve and I am not worried about what my future looks like. As long as I am chasing after Him and open to the opportunity to be a servant to the advancement of the Kingdom... I'll be alright.

So, I forgot all about this little blog entry I wrote while I was in the Sydney airport. Since I couldn't get on the internet there I figured I would post it later on. I never posted it. I think it's hilarious now but at the time I was so pissed and annoyed. Funny how God works. Still amazes me.

July 5, 2009

I'm writing this in the Sydney airport because, of course, I missed my plane. I would be in the sunshine coast right now if I hadn't... but what can you do? I had done a good job keeping my composure all the way up until this point. I was seriously so proud of myself for not shedding one tear. There were many times when I wanted to when I started thinking about everyone and how much I'm going to miss them. My plane was on time but it took forever to go through customs and then I got lost and had to ask a million people where I needed to go after I got my luggage. I ended up having to pay 5 dollars to take a stupid train to one stop down and get off and have another guy tell me where to go. Unfortunately it was too late by the time I got to the check in for my luggage all over again... they had just closed the gate and were NOT going to open it for me. So lucky me had to pay a terrible 70 dollar late fee. I almost cried at the counter I was so frustrated/scared/nervous. They were incredibly snobby girls at the counter too... that really didn't help. So now, the closest flight I could get on wasn't until 1:50... so here I am.... waiting.

I can't describe this feeling I have. My first flight from Cincy to LA was pretty easy. Went by super fast and we got there early as well which was nice. As we were flying into LA we flew into the sunset and all the streams of colors were all around. It was seriously remarkable. I felt so independent and so free. But at the same time I felt so alone in that airplane by myself. By the time we got to LA it was dark out and as we were flying closer into the city I could see tons and tons of fireworks going off. I can't describe any emotions that were going through my heart. It was incredibly beautiful and everything was so dark except for the city lights and the fireworks. It almost looked like a war zone honestly... because hundreds of houses were lighting their own fireworks.

I somehow found my way through the LA airport and got to the terminal all in one piece. Anyone who tried to tell me I would totally be fine and there would be no problem.... you were wrong. I officially HATE airports. Nothing makes sense when you get off of them. It's not so hard getting onto the plane... it's getting off that's the problem. BUT I did make it onto the plane and ended up sitting with two guys who were pretty chill. One man was older and was a teacher who lives right outside of Nashville which was pretty funny to me. And the other guy was more closer to my age and he was an architect from Indianapolis. They were both super sweet and helped me out so much. I passed out for a good chunk of the plane ride haha. They would take my food for me and pull down my little tray and set it on there for me so I wouldn't miss a meal. We would talk occasionally about what movie to watch and just casual conversation but I never felt awkward or obligated to talk to them. That made the plane ride actually feel like it flew by (haha). The only thing I woke up for was food time.

And well... I told you earlier what happened when I got off the plane. I then had to find a pay phone to somehow get ahold of the ywam base to tell them I missed my flight and when I would be there. The pay phone was extremely confusing so I had to ask the girl at the desk if she knew how to work it and she was trying to help me and we couldn't understand it. I ended up starting to cry at the desk cause by this time I have been flying for 19 hours, on and off sleep, missing everyone, frustrated I missed my flight, and didn't know how the heck I could get ahold of anyone. Her and the other girl at the desk were so sweet and were like, "Ahh no! Don't cry! You'll make the both of us cry!" hahaha they were so sweet. The three of us finally figured it out and I got ahold of the girl that was going to pick me up and she sounded so sweet on the phone. That was encouraging and she told me to not worry and she'll be there waiting.

Well, this is kind of embarrassing but I figure I might as well be open about everything because this is definitely an adventure. I ended up going into the bathroom into the last stall and just cry. I needed to let some of this out or else I was going to just bust. Plus I knew I had about 5 hours to kill... so I was in no rush at this point. Eventually I gave myself a pep talk because for pete's sake... I'm 21 and I should be able to handle this. I told myself I needed to suck it up and deal with the situation. So you know what I did? I got a Diet Coke from McDonalds and walked around haha. I hate how airports never have free wifi anymore! I was almost debating on paying for it because I'm going to be here for a while but... oh well.

I can't believe I totally skipped a day. Fast forward through time on the plane. It's sunday here but technically it's really saturday in my head. Man oh man... this is quite the adventure. How to I get myself in these situations? Why do I pick the most extreme route to do things? Eh, at least I'll have even more stories to tell. I want to call so many people right now but I can't because that would cost me a TON of money. And I've already spent a chunk just to freaking get around this stupid airport. I obviously am not a fan of airports...

I just want to get to the ywam base and not think about anything else anymore. I just want to get to the final destination... getting there is always the hardest part. You could write a whole sermon series on that. I'm sure someone has used the analogy of an airport. If not... they should... cause it's hell on earth and God is the smiling friend that's holding the sign that says your name patiently waiting for you to come home.

I can't believe I'm in Australia. I can't believe I'm going to "school" tomorrow morning. Waking up at 6am for breakfast with a ton of strangers. On top of all of this...I've never lived on the beach before! I've always been surrounded by concrete and city and at one point a good lake.

Life is funny. I would have never thought I'd be doing this when I was in high school. I don't even know what to expect from all of this... haha. The only thing I know for sure is God has got something up His sleeve.

Only 1 hour and 50 mins to go... sigh. I feel so gross... I need a shower big time and why does my tetris arm still hurt?!!

Ok... I'm getting some food.

Hello there.

It has been a while since I have actually written something on here. I actually sort of miss blogging about random things. Although, I am a big picture fan... much more interesting to look back on. And honestly, I write the good stuff in my actual journal. That's the stuff that few know and somehow are still my friends. Speaking of, can I brag for a minute? God seriously places the most amazing people in my life. Probably because He knows I need all the help I can get. In these recent months, I have been meeting new people constantly. All of us have a similar vision for the young "20 somethings" here in Cincinnati. It's pretty cool to watch a small group of people get fired up while discussing their ideas about how we can get people our age connected to each other and try to figure out this whole "God thing."

That has pretty much been a big chunk of my life right now. Also, this weekend was my first weekend in a while off from playing worship music at the church. I love playing worship music but man, it is exhausting. I love being around people but by the last service on Sunday I am ready to go home and sit in silence. That usually means I take a nap... I LOVE me some Sunday afternoon snooze time.

The spring time is making me miss the little things about Nashville. I loved living in Nashville during this time because the streets became flooded with young people. Plus, you have the cute neighborhood areas to take walks in and coffee shops to visit. I miss the community feel of it. That's the drag about Cincinnati, I have to drive everywhere. And not just a 5 minute drive down the road... if I want to get to my favorite coffee shops I have to drive at least 3o minutes. Womp womp. That's ok though... I don't mind driving.

I'm excited to see what this summer has in store. I've met some incredible people who I can't wait to see how God uses us and our gifts. There is a really random but great something that started this spring and I'm curious to see where that goes. And who knows what adventures we will all get ourselves into.

Anyways, this blog can only handle so much vague(ness?). Bye.

Im thankful I am able to do what i love with awesome people around me.

Hello Sunshine

You were missed.

love. 12:19 AM

this just made my night <3

miss you girls!

Birthday. 12:13 AM

I am officially 22.

I would say this was a successful birthday weekend. For the first time in many years, I officially pulled off a birthday party that wasn't awkward. The festivities started on Friday and didn't end till Monday night.

Friday was just ridiculous. My sister AND Lisa (plus Josh) got to come up from Tennessee to celebrate! I love and miss the both of them so much, I always love excuses to see them. Everyone first meets at my house and then we head over to combine parties with James at the Brazenhead Irish Pub in sweet little Mason Ohio! It was his birthday as well (ok, his REAL birthday) and we wanted to celebrate at least the first half of it together! He somehow scored us their "banquet" room and when the music started, it got rowdy. Somehow both groups seemed to get along without too much awkwardness and when the dancing started, it didn't matter anymore. I love how much friends can bring the party anywhere... doesn't matter what the atmosphere is because we will take over. At one point we had our friend Danny and the bar stool he was sitting on up in the air! I was a little worried about his safety and whether or not we would get kicked out hah. Overall that was a success. Then we all headed back to my house and devoured all the queso, chips, hummus, salsa and popcorn we could get our hands on. All the while shooting nerf guns at random targets. All of this followed up by making the most amazing fort my living room has ever seen!

We are kind of a big deal.

We all passed out and the next morning made breakfast and hung out until people headed home.

Saturday was filled with worship practice, church and then James came over and I made dinner for/with him. That was tasty even though we didn't finish eating until 11:30pm, oops!

Sunday was wonderful because my parents finally returned home.

Monday, Rachel headed back home which was sad. But then we went over to Michael Pickett's house to eat the AMAZING dinner he cooked for all of us. This man is one of Cincinnati's best. He has cooked for people such as Frank Sinatra and multiple presidents and he wanted to cook for me and my friends for my birthday :). He served us this wine that was just so smooth and cooked us roast that melted in your mouth. Then, for dessert he made me a Raspberry Infused Flaming Baked Alaska cake.

Yeah, it tasted just as good as it looks.

Basically this was the best birthday EVER! What he did was light the top on fire by drizzling a liquor or rum on top and then throwing sugar on top of that. Oh boy, it was heaven.

I really don't have anything to complain about. I'm so privilege to have the friend and family I do... Jesus has seriously blessed me. All I can do is continuously thank Him for each day I am given.

The best part about Sundays.

I love her.

Turns out, valentines day isn't so bad after all.

This weekend ended up being pretty great. I am so thankful for the new friends in my life and how I get to introduce them to friends who have been in my life for a long time! I also love seeing a passion in people for change and are willing to step up and do something about it. It inspires me to step up even more and join them. There are a lot of things going on around Cincinnati and I love that I get to be apart of something new!

Back to this weekend, it consisted of:

1) Games

2) Margaritas

3) Quality People

4) Car dance parties

5) Taylor Swift

6) "Come to my crib!"

7) Movies

8) Cooking With Friends

9) Wine

10) Lots And Lots Of Laughing

Angie, James and I went to see the movie Valentines Day on well... you guessed it... Valentines Day. The movie was just ok, the commentary by us was priceless. Then everyone else came over and ate the delicious food that we made! I can't take too much credit though because James is quite the kitchen nazi and wouldn't let me stir the noodles. They turned out great though, so I can't complain. Then we all sat around and played this great game called In A Pickle (or something like that). It got rowdy to say the least.

I love my friends.

Today was quite the adventure. I lost my phone. Pretty sure "white death" ate it. But that's ok.

It was a good day nonetheless.

1 Samuel 17:45-47 11:31 AM

"You come against me with sword and spear and javelin, but I come against you in the name of the LORD Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. This day the LORD will deliver you into my hands, and I'll strike you down and cut off your head. This very day I will give the carcasses of the Philistine army to the birds and the wild animals, and the whole world will know that there is a God in Israel. All those gathered here will know that it is not by sword or spear that the LORD save; for the battle is the LORD'S, and he will give all of you into our hands."

David is a badass.

The same God that empowered David, kings and other great leaders is in me. I have the same authority in Christ to overcome any sort of trouble that happens in my life. The fear of man is one fear I should never have if I truly believe I belong to the same God that saved Israel over and over and over again.

At the point, David was just a boy who watched over sheep all day. There was nothing cool or flashy about that job. But David knew who his LORD was and the power He gave to those who were after His heart. He says it perfectly in verses 34-37:

"Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The LORD who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine."

The best part about David was his life was a mess. He screwed up multiple times and did some serious damage. Fortunately, when we come to God and admit our crap... He has already forgotten it and wants us to continue to pursue Him. He doesn't want to put guilt on us or shame... that is what Satan does. I knew someone that once told me that every time he read his bible he felt guilty, so he stopped reading it. That isn't God putting guilt on him, that is Satan lying to him and telling him he isn't ever going to be good enough for God's love. God wants all who are weak to come to him so He can build us up and make us strong. Jesus didn't go to those who had it all together... I believe this is why we need to surround ourselves with a community of people who know they aren't perfect and are in desperate need of God.

The hardest thing to let go of is our pride and to humbly come before the Lord asking for help. But it's not until we do that when we then gain strength like David to overcome the "giants" in our life.

This is what a real snow day looks like.

This bird was sitting right outside our window.

Fattest bird ever.

At least it's going to stay warm this winter.

<3

Jesus flirted with me today.

I literally blushed.

I am falling in love with Jesus.

2.26.10 4:53 PM

this is goin down.

Not gonna lie... My organizational skills are awesome.

I love my friends.

Man, I really have to start working on this whole patience thing. I'm very much one of those people that likes to get things done and do it right. But if it takes a little longer than expected I start to lose focus and drive and slowly drift away from the task at hand. I HATE admitting this about myself and it is most definitely not one of my attractive qualities. Luckily, I have wonderful people in my life that still love me anyway :). I need those people to tell me to slow down every once in a while.

History speaks for itself. I didn't think about the consequences of just up and moving to Nashville at the age of 18. All I knew was that was what I felt God was pulling me towards and I wanted to get out of Cincinnati. I dropped out of school for this reason as well and I didn't think about what was after all of this. In a way, this isn't a terrible thing. Most people wont do what they really want because they fear the unknown. But I definitely need a balance. Whoever decides it's a good idea to marry me will have to be one of those people that considers the consequences and weighs the good with the bad.

In the mean time, I'll have to learn to do that with Gods help. Cause Jesus knows I need as much help as I can get. This is just one of the many things I am working on right now. There are certain things in my life that are helping me learn this... as painful as it is. I know in the end I will appreciate these things, but right now I feel like I'm crawling. But of course I'm crawling because God knows my legs aren't strong enough yet to walk and He only wants the best for me.

Patience.

It's what I need, right now.

On a side note: Alton did a fantastic job this weekend. The series in the high school has been about if you only have 30 days to live. What would you do differently? How would this affect your relationships? We have really tried to have the students walk away with something tangible. Whether it's a challenge at home or making a bucket list... it's not just going to church then forgetting what you just heard, it's a lifestyle change. Well, this is the last week and Alton spoke on forgiveness. That even the worst of the worst people you can think of know how to love their friends. As a Christ follower we are called to take it a step further and love the people that constantly piss us off. Sounds like the crappy end of the deal but it's deeper than our own selfish wants and needs. One of the most dangerous sins is bitterness because those roots can go so deep. It takes years to sometimes forgive certain people that have hurt us. One of the biggest things I learned over at YWAM was that sometimes it takes multiple times of forgiving someone to truly have forgiven them. I used to think that I just had to say it once, when in reality the bitterness rises when sparked by something and I'll have to say it again. I forgive you. And sometimes I have to say it to myself. Those are the hardest to forgive... your past mistakes. But if you can't forgive yourself, you wont be able to forgive someone else that has hurt you.

Ok, time to read. I'm starting a book I am very very excited about... thank you dad for your plethora of books in that library of yours downstairs.

my hair takes way too long to grow.

hurry up.