This week was definitely an unexpected one. I know quite a few people that would say, "Oh yeah, Katie... relationships week is definitely something you need to be present in!" Hah, so glad I can laugh about that actually.
This week God changed my heart.
There is no "I think" or "I feel like..." or any statement that represents uncertainty. I know that God gave me a revelation of freedom that I just can't deny. This week started out slow for me and it honestly took till Thursday to make a huge impact on the way I thought about relationships. The first few days were talking about relationships with other people, ourselves and God. But it wasn't till Thursday when we talked about romantic relationships. Yeah, I know there are things I need to work on when it comes to loving my neighbor... but that wasn't the home run topic of this week.
It wasn't till the end of the speakers talk on Thursday when she did an example that seemed so cliche but that is where God came in and spoke ever so softly to my heart. I'm not going into detail because I have to also protect this new revelation in my heart, if I know you personally I will totally talk to you about it because I want to be able to give God all the glory in this story. But I also wanted to update and tell you all that God is a merciful God that is so much bigger than satan.
I will say that satan isn't a creator... he can only use what God has created. So therefore the temptations I fall into is handed over to satan to use against me. God is a just God and has to allow satan to use it because we gave him that foothold. But I now know that I can't try to forget my past or the sin I have allowed satan to have because then, how will I ever be released from it?! I have to accept that I am so incredibly fallen and that without Jesus... I would be damned to hell because I have SUCH weak flesh.
Praise Jesus that his Father would have such mercy on me that He would send His own son to die in order to force satan to release my sin from his grasp and hand me back over to my Heavenly Father!
I then have to admit that I have sinned, terribly. Especially when it comes to representing true love and all the sacrifices that come with it. And then allow God's healing to start taking over my character and heart. I can't count how many time my soul cried out for help while I deliberately chose to hurt my Father.
Thursday I defeated satan. He no longer has any foothold on a certain part of my life. It was all so subtle and very un-climatic on the outside but on the inside I became completely free! I'm never going back to how I used to be... it's just not possible because my Dad has allowed me to walk in freedom and I can make that choice. Faith is definitely a choice. I wish someone had told me that before... I'm sure they did but not in the way I am hearing it now.
I can choose to not think those thoughts, love an annoying friend, die to my own will, give glory to God in all circumstances, believe in healing, love myself even though I screw up big time.
I can choose that God is with me always and to walk in strength and not fear.
In 2 Corinthians 4:10 Paul says, "We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body." It then goes on to say in 4:17, "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit."
Basically, if I learn to contemplate openly and pray unceasingly to the Lord... I can understand what freedom is and what it means to feel his glory because I have the spirit inside of me.
I have began my journey of learning to seek God first, in my thoughts and heart before I think about anything else. When I do this... I can walk in freedom. Freedom from the bondage that past relationships have brought into my life... and I know whole heartedly that my future husband will be free from my bondage as well because satan has been defeated... since Thursday!
I love it.
I love Jesus.
I love my Father who sent Jesus.
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